Big Boy Ranch Man Vs. Fazolis Italian Restaurant

 Exclusive Interview with Dale Preston aka @bigboyranchman by Jeremiah Bones

Big Boy Ranch Man Vs. Fazolis Italian Restaurant

I got the opportunity to interview Dale Preston about his recent troubles with the fast food restaraunt called Fazolis. Dale is a very popular on twitter as Big Boy Ranch Man. He has over 500 followers and growing to even more. REcently DAle found out that on tewitter Fazolis has blocked him!! He now is tryingt to get his fans to unblock him. He says he dont know why he is blocked buti did my research and found a lot of tweets from the past 5 years that could have caused his getting blocked by faxolis on twitter. In one tweet he evben claimed to have been stomping roaches while getting a hand job from his son's friend in the Fazolis bathroom. THis morning I called Dale on my iphone 7 and i hgave transcribered the whole conversation below. Enjoy.





Jeremiah: Hello good morning, Dale. Thisd is Jeremiah Bones reporting for Jorp's News.

Dale: Sup.

J: So have you heard anything from Fazolis yet?

D: Nah those mother fuckers can eat my shit! I cant even believe I gotta deal with this mother fucking shit. Somer days i just want to jump in the pool and put a gun in my fucking mouth and end this cock sucking nightmare that my life is. I was sober for two whole weeks and just cuz I started getting smashed every day my wife got pissed and took the baby Dorito and left and I dont know where she is. if she is with Bang Bang I will blow that mother fuckers house up. So she been gone a m onth and im sellin a lot less coke and the watrer got turned off at the houise and i got my older son and his friends tryin to do jackass stunts on me all the time. last night they did donuts in the yard and tore it all up and tried to set the porch on fire but i whipped my cock out and pissed a huige load of piss on it and put it out. (Dale laughed really hard for a long time and started coughing.)

J: WHo is a Dorito?

D: That's my new son. Dorito Jameson Preston. Named him after my favorite chips and favorite drink. He got a lot of option for nicknames when he get older too.

J: Awesome. So you really dont knwo wehy you got blocked by Fazolis on Twitter?

D: NO!!!!! I had just ate therte and wanted to tweet about it and i was like what the fuck and then i looked and they blocked me!! for nothin!!

J: Okay well I serched yoour name and "fazolis" and found a few possibilties for why you got blocked.

D: Huh?


J: There's a tweet from february of this year where you say in 2006 you were arresdted there for throwing a chair.

D: Oh yeah that true. that true. It was funny. Me and my buddy Maggot were eating there and this homeless guy was in the window like makin faces and flippin me off and shit. I couldnt take it anymore so i stareted cussin and got up and threw a chair so hard it cracked the glass and the hobo was laughin and it made me so fuckin mad. the piggies came and I mouthed off and they locked me up for a night. I can be a ornery son of a bitch sometimes. (laughs)

J: Okay here's anopther one where you say Fazolis sucks...

D: Sometimes they do. How old is that?



J: It's from 2016.

D: Oh yeah they had roaches real bad and the food tasted like fucking shit back then.

J: And then you said some stuff to a guy about getting a sex act in the bathroom there and that you were stomping roaches as it was happening. Do you remember that?

D: Nah, dude. What is this shit?


J: Dale, it's all there. I think you probably got blocked for that one. That was 2016. They probzbly blocked you a long time ago.

D: What the fuck!!!




J: And then later that year you got mad they wouldnt put something called a "brazwurths" on a pizza?

D: That was the cool way to say bratwurst!!! It was fall time and i wanted sausage and pretzels and beer like in a germany, dude.

J: I just don't see why they would let you in there at all. It seems like you've caused a lot of trouble.

D: How tall is your ass?

J: I'm 3 feet and 4 inches tall.

D: Okay cool I couild kick your ass then. you is supposed to be helpin me and you is just talkin a bunch of shit!! (sounds of things being thrown around the room, sounds like a plate being thrown at a grandfather clock. lotsd of crashing around.)

J: I wish I could help you get unblocked by fazolis but it's my job to report the truth.

D: Yeah whatever i thought you was cool. I'll block you!!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!! FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

At this point Dale hung up the phone. I reminded him abouth the truths and he ddint like it. After the call I ordered Fazolis because i had never ate it. I usually eat my pasta from a can like chef boyardee raviolis and stuff. I got lsagna and raviolis and breadsticks and a buffalo chicken breadstick slider. washed it all down with a peach italian ice. It was pretty good but not as good as a meal from Taco Bell.

August 5th, 2021 
 © BUFFAFO JORPS

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